Miss Victoria's School for Girls

Run of the Mill

Dear Diary,

Apparently the town of Greenest can’t go 20 minutes without someone needing a damn rescue. And since we appear to be the only competent people in a 10 mile radius, of course it’s up to us to do the rescuing.

This time, it was the mill and the poor miller. So we went to check it out and there were a bunch of freaky acolytes doing their freaky chanty thing. We were all like “Oh, we totally got this,” so we ran right in but then wouldn’t you know there were a bunch of stupid guards hidden up in the rafters that jumped down and started hitting us. Sassay went down in like two seconds. No surprise there. And it’s not my fault I put Shen to sleep. I was aiming for all the stupid cultists and she got in the way! Anyway, she looked tired! She probably needed the rest.

We finally took down all the jerk faces and then there was suddenly like this big booming voice from outside challenging us to a duel. Those cultists guys were holding a bunch of townsfolk captive with knives to their throats to ensure that we didn’t cheat on the duel. As if. We’re the good guys, right? Of course Grontina got all excited and was like, “Yea, verily, a duel! I doth accepteth!” And then this scary looking dragon dude just immediately stomped her. Grontina looked so disappointed in herself! It was actually pretty funny.

But then they all just… left? They pushed the townsfolk they’d been holding to the ground, the big Dragon dude bowed toward Grontina (though I don’t know why since she was totally unconscious), and then they all walked away. I don’t know, it was weird. And some lady, one of the townsfolk we rescued, gave us a gemstone that apparently has been in her family for generations. It wasn’t very pretty, but it has magical properties, so I guess we’ll hold onto it.

DM Note: Brittanya has failed to mention that upon return was a discussion with Governor Nighthill and Escobert the Red. Since it will be several days until any significant military help will be able to reach the town, they’ve asked the girls to follow the withdrawing forces and find out whatever they can that might help with a larger military operation later.

And OMG OMG OMGGGGGG! I almost forgot to say! The boys are heeeeeeeeere! I was super sick of this town, but now that there are boys again, we can make this work. Thank GOD for prestidigitation.

DM Note: Brittanya also failed to mention that the boys were very distraught over their missing mentor, Leosin Erlanthar. All they found were signs of a scuffle and the amulet he’d been wearing. The girls investigated the monk’s last known whereabouts but found nothing significant at that location. With further discussion is was surmised that either the monk had been taken captive or possibly gone undercover to further investigate the cult he’s so obviously obsessed with. The girls tried to convince the boys to come with them on their investigation of the cult/bandits withdrawal, but they were firm that Leoson’s last directive was that should he disappear they must return to the monastery and report on all that has happened thus far.

DM Note: …and then there was resting and sleeps to be had before the next morning’s events as the girls and boys made ready their departure in opposite directions…

I guess there aren’t a lot of normal kid activities to do in monk school or whatever, because the boys took us out on the weirdest [breakfast?] date ever to go watch a group of the cultists get hanged. Not very romantic, I know, but actually weirdly a little hot. Right before they took the plunge, one of them yelled “For the Horde of the Dragon Queen!” Not the last words I would’ve chosen, but it was very dramatic and ominous.

Some Dumb Guards, An Ambush, and All the Drama
What the hell Girls?

Dearest (New) Diary,

Good Morning! 
Today started off really strange. The boys bid us a fond farewell after I did a rendition of an old sorrowful number that I did after we watched some terrible cultists get hung. Without too much ado, we set out in the morning (me on Gruntie’s shoulder braiding her hair, a fabulous look for her by the way) while Shen tracked the army we’d been tasked to follow. I didn’t even know how fast the wilderness changed out here, it became way all rocky and less green. Still pretty, but … greyscale.

The girls got worried about what would happen when we caught up to the army, I just figured we wouldn’t get too close to them. But you know how these things work out. Well, usually pretty scarily. But there’s nothing we can’t do when we’re together. (P.S. I keep thinking of Shen in Kitty form, and I just really want to snuggle her SO. BAD.)

Eventually Kynthia and I saw there was this like trail of smoke in the sky, but like not enough for a full amount of a camping army. I asked Shen if she thought maybe we got turned around in the wrong direction, but she was totally sure she was right so, we continued on heading between plateaus to see what was going on here.

So once we were about like a half mile or so out the girls started arguing about who was going to go check out the fire, and it was totally a good idea to spend all that time talking instead of doing. But I decided I would go check it out. So I made with the total hiding abilities that I learned at Ms. Victoria’s and was gone without a trace. I guess Shen must have gotten worried about me because I saw her running by in bunny form heading to the campfire. She is SO sweet.

So anyway I eventually catch up (Bunnies are FAST did you know that?), So when I come upon the camp I’m super surprised when I see about 6 or so Kobolds chasing Bunny-Shen away from the Camp! Oh. My. God! They Nearly caught her and for a second I thought I was going to have to come in like a Wrecking Orb and blast the Kobolds and run. But, she totally got away from them (after a close call with a sling). So I was able to use this to my advantage and sneak up behind a big (to me!) boulder and watch the confusion. Spilling some soot-n-salt I activated a complex spell that allowed me to understand the Kobolds. Who were all just complaining about not eating Shen (I’m sure Brittanya would make a really crass statement here). 

After spending some time listening to the dumbies I made my way back to the group. They were bickering in a very similar fashion. But I love the ladies so its excusable. After a hasty plan to take out the army boys we started stealing back towards the encampment with the knowledge of their numbers. (Kynth may or may not have tripped on herself on the way there).

It turns out she actually kicked a rock, rather loudly… which drew some attention from the encampment. Oh well, who needs surprise when we have Gruntie with us? The Kobolds came charging at us (little mongrels), with the last vestiges of my language spell I could understand that they really wanted to kill us. 

A Kobold slung a rock directly between Brit-Brit’s eyes and knocked her out in an instant! IT. WAS. ON. Gruntie ran forth and shucked a spear at one of the men and missed before they  all swarmed on her (how unusual) and began swinging. With a word, Shen awoke Brit who got up and instantly slung out her own magical spell at the Kobolds to help them get in a good nap to which three instantly submitted. Kythia helped me out by distracting one of them men, as I ran up behind Gruntie, I stabbed the man in the thigh before they unleashed another assault upon us. But like the amazing women we are, we held against the Kobolds. Shen sent out  her trade mark fiercness whip and drug the Kobold that had attacked Brit-Brit as Big G sliced through my target killing him (Floyd the Blood Splotch), before slashing into another of the men.

Brittanya’s frosty rage unleashed a bolt of pure cold against the angry Kobold giving him icicle head. Kynthia ran up and thunked a guy with her mace and knocked him dead. I jumped on his chest and tried to stab one of his former allies but he jumped aside, I guess out of disgust at his bleeding friend or something.

Kobold the Bold knocked out Brit Brit again, she’s just going down like all those rumours back at school about her had said, causing Shen to roll her eyes and cast another healing word before killing the Kobold.

My guy decided he wanted to HIT me! ME! After slashing me, his friend hit Gruntie while Brit got up thorwing more icy-shade. Kynthia rolled her eyes and threw a healing word towards Gruntie before running up to my attacker and swinging for his skull with the mace again. Enraged by my wound, I stabbed at the last standing male on the field. Two of the Kobolds ran, eliciting a Kitty chase by a suddenly transformed Shen. As Gruntie finished off the last of our attackers, Brit-Brit caused our runners to fall asleep and make Shen a very Happy Kitty.

(Items From the Camp: 4 Gold, 22 silver, 34 copper. 4 Spears, 4 Chainmail Shirts, and 4 spears, 4 shields, 6 daggers, 6 slings. We left behind: 2 Chainmail Shirts, and 2 Spears)

Realizing we hadn’t left any of the cultists alive for questioning, we decided to start walking after the army with a few new items in hand. 

And while I was writing in this Journal, a trap sprung upon us! We walked into a very shallow canyon. Guards, Cultists, and Acolytes, Oh My! Shen had seen a face peering over the edge of the Canyon. Poping over the edge they threw spears at us which Gruntia defended the party at large from. Shen, having prepared her thorn whip pulled one of the attackers down the slope at us. Brit used another sleep spell on the ridge above us and knocked two cultists into an easy sleep. Guards appeared over the edge next, chucking MORE Spears, and Gruties shiled continued to hold (Remind me to dip into our coffers to get her an even better shield someday!). 

“Okay Girls! Lets take them down one at a time!” Gruntie advised, choping halfway into a cultist who dropped instantly. I saw an insecure Guard, and called a verbal assault against his husbands buldge which, I could see visibly hurt him. In that moment, when all eyes were on him, I disappeared between Gruntie and Shen. Moving away from the western wall Kynthia unleashed a crossbow bolt that barely missed one of the Guards furthest away from us.  Brit-Brit unleashed a blast of Cold, and then got a weird look on her face before winking out of existence and appearing on the otherside of Gruntina.

More Guards chucking spear snad Gruntie continuing to block for us while complaining about resource management. I still don’t understand what that means, but she ran up the slope and insulted tiny dick, before slashing wildly and missing him entirely. As I struggled up the hill, I couldn’t get enough vigor behind my next insult at him and he easily ignored me for the Giant Half-Orc infront of him. Kynthia unleashed a Guided bolt at an Accolyte from an amaing distance nand took him out in a single hit. The other Acolyte didn’t like this very much and threw a poorly aimed firebolt at her.

Kitty Shen emerged on the battlefield and pounced on a single Guard on the oposite side of the canyon from the group, mauling the hell out of him. The Cultist (I say this because he was the only one standing at this point) threw another poorly aimed spear at Gruntie (yet again). This time Brit-Brit didn’t disappear when she cast another ray of frost and iced the mauled Guard into a Guardscicle.  

The remaining guard on Shens side attempted to skewer a kitty but couldn’t connect again. Small Pene, clearly angry still (and I mean what man wouldn’t be with that penis?) stabbed Gruntie in the gut this time, before she swung again hitting his shield, and her frustration became clear and she cut through his shiled, his armor (and his tiny self esteeme) and splorched him all of the ground. I ran up and attempted to help Guntie by stabbbing the next guy, and he blocked clearly weary after his friend got splorched. Kynthia was clearly in a great mood and unleashed another Acolyte killing assault, taking enemy spell casters off the field. Meanwhile Kitty Fantastico got another bite into a guard.

Another spear flew threw the air from the final Cultist, catching Gruntie in the side. In a shocking turn of events Brit Brit grabbed onto a guard, shocking him throughly, and he swung wildly missing Brit. Unfortunately Shen got hit by a freaking out guard. Gruntie finished off her Guard nemisis and together ran forward, and I began stabbing wildly at the Cultists shins hacking him up pretty good. In a surprising turn of event Kynthia continued to be shockingly violent and take out yet another Guard. And again Kitty Shen snuck up and started killing sleeping Cultists. And Brit Brit joined us around the last cultist and knocked him out demurely with her quarter staff.

Tying up our enemies, we went through the things of our fallen foes. 

Things of interest: these guards were way more professional than the guys at the boulders. Their gear is still not that awesome. 

(Loot from this Encounter: Chainshirts, Javelins, Leather Armor, Spears, Daggers, 2 Scimitars. 
Cash: 41 copper, 19 silver, 11 electurm, 29 Gold, 3 platinum
1 Healing Potion
1st Level Spell Scroll: Inflict Wounds. [Given to Kynthia]
We Took: Money, Potion, Spell Scroll. 1 Scimitar)

Delegating tasks on questioning and area scouting we take some time to make sure we’re not going to be suddenly attacked again. Seperating the Guard and the cultists… we try a myriad of attempts to wake them up… none of which succeed until Shen healed him up and Brit-Brit got on questioning him with a terrible threat scaring the absolute hell out of him. He answered questions to the bare minimum. He did however list the name of his Boss “Frulam Mondath”. He didn’t give more specifics about his boss and army, but clearly mentioning his both made him REALLY terrified. “Have you seen Leosin… Thunderpussy, what’s his name? I forgot his name. He’s a Monk guy. Did you guys kill him or something?” He clearly had never heard the name before. In an attempt to get more information out of him lies about where we think the army is going. 

Our Guard was a little bit rude. But we did get some information out of him:
Resmir is who Frulam reports to.

Lendadrisa Kyarath is the direct commander of their camp.

Gathering gold for the hord to present to the Queen.

As we were considering options of taking a night of camping here, Guard Roy twitched letting us know that there would clearly be a scouting party coming back eventually. 

We had issues deciding what to next, Kill our Captives or leave them tied up and to the wolves? It didn’t very much matter as the Cultist got up and started booking it having escaped from his bonds. Shen kitty formed and chased after him, having to end the Cultists life. 

Then O. M. G. The stress of the day got to us. Brit-Brit decided to walk away from the group because she was just like OVER the whole thing. And guess what!? Grontina decided to HIT HER WITH ROY! What in the world?! DRAAAAAMA!

The worst part??! She KILLED him. KILLED HIM by Dropping him on his head. I just don’t know what I think of that. 


Good Night Journal,
This day is some kind of mess.

(We all get 1 DM inspiration, on some future roll we can give ourselves Advantage on ANY D20 roll).

It will be ok, Shen, we can do this.

I swear to Mielikki. i have no idea how we’ve gotten ourselves so deep into this mess.
today really made me question if what I’m doing here is for the best. I just dont know, so much has happened today. we woke up to them hanging the cultists that were captured and i could just feel my stomach drop watching it all. I’ve tried to stay calm today but that feeling never really left. I still don’t quite understand why they need use to follow an army, but the group decided it was the best coarse of action to find ‘whats his name monk’…. gods, i am soo rattled right now, i cant even think straight.
Im just so scared. so long story short, we tried to ambush a scouting trope, that barely worked, but then we were ambushed ourselves, i wonder sometimes what missVictoria was thinking when she put this team together. i worry about us. i never expected any thing like this when Nana told me stories about her adventures. ………… i miss you Nana. i’m starting to understand what she meant about wild shape, its just so. free. i love the lithe feel of the wind on my fur, running free though the grass. its so easy to lose yourself to the animal instincts. i worry sometimes about the puma. i get so caught up in the moment i will just blink back to Shen and realize i just snapped a man’s neck with my jaws. its all just so natural i forget how horrendous it all is. and then as i was running back to camp everything just fell to SH*T! Brti brit told me she walked away to catch her breath when Tina just flat out womped on her with the GUARD!
Brit just about lost it and all our nerves are just shot. i tried to get everyone to just calm down and get some rest and then Sassy just completely screaming at me out of nowhere.
it was just a joke, ugh, last time i try to lighten the mood. i got brit and tina away and reasonably calm so i guess thats good. but i just want to go home. ok, tomorrow will be better, we can do this. i just hope brit brit just doesnt try to ray of frost tina while we sleep.

Rising Stars! Flames of Triumph!
My Girls are Wild and Creative!

Well Hello to you Dearest and Friendliest of Diaries,

So when we last left off you knew that the girls and I were in a bit of a … mood. Shen, bless her, came up with a plan that we might want to get settled down for a rest a bit away from here. So I threw out that I should probably scout in slightly different directions as I’m discovering I’m very adept at going around unseen (well that and I needed a little alone time to deal with my frustrations. I didn’t want my ladies to see me as upset as I’d become, I do love them after all). As the ladies found a hill to settle down on for the evening I’d noticed in the distance heading away from us, yet still in the direction of the army, that there was a hunting party. It appeared as if they were a hunting party from the Dragon-y Army. Definitely wanted to keep us away from them with as tired as we all were.
        Reporting back to the others, we began planning out the best way to settle in for evening and decided on taking turn watches. Starting Grontina, Kynthia, Me, Shen and then Brittanya. Shen also asked if I would set up the Feng-shi of the sleeping bags. I took this as a compliment, though I know some might not. Highest up the hill Shen and Brit-Brit settled in next to each other, Kynthia lay at a Diagonal angle away from them, equidistant from them and me, furthers down the hill, for tactical reasons I set Grontina. 
        The majority of the evening appeared to be… uneventful. Shen thought she heard something in the middle of the night, but nothing of interest ever seemed to happen.      
        Waking up rested and rejuvinated we all set through our morning routines, and I decided to check around the permimiter between rituals. Grontina offered to fix Brit-brit’s torn outfit, but she declined and we all commented on how wonderful her own designs are before we took off on what would be the day we found a true army encampment, and a VERY strange day indeed.
         After some traveling Shen noticed a Plateau with a dusty haze and the other girls said they could see it too (I’d thought they were playing a joke on me, as pay back for my outburst the previous day). I ran ahead on a different path and found that there actually was a Plateau and that it opened up in a U shape leading into the center of the plateu. Oh and there was a clearly visible guard tower blocking the easiest points of access.
        Returning back to the girls, I let them know that it looked like a decent sized and possibly well defended encampment. We came to the easy assumption that it must be a local outpost for the Army. We realized this was exactly what the Govenor (Or is he a Mayor? I can never remember) had bid us to do, find a  place that was of strategic value to the Cultists and their army. Deciding to head for a bit of a scouting mission we circled around to the side of the U shape, deciding to circle around to the right of it we figure a night scouting mission might serve us best. 
        That decision quickly went out the window… as it seemed like an easy-ish climb for a couple of the girls to make. Shen (Kitty Shen!!! So Cuuuute!!) and Grunty decided to take a peak over the top of giant U. Shen stalked over the edge as a Cougar and got a good visual of the encampment and its lay out. Grontina decided to hang on the rocks and watch. Green on dry pale mesa is not a great color palate to play with, I think she made the right choice. Once they’ve returned we took off to find a  place to remain unseen and Shen gave us the low down. The plateau was much more packed on the inside than we mave have guessed. It then came down time to debate our next course of action. The majority girls considering heading back to Greenest to advise the locals so an Army might be sent to amush the encampment. But through perusing you, dear Journal, I reminded the girls that we did have the small matter of finding Leosin before returning. A promise to the boys, is a very serious thing.
        A plan was hatched to enter Plateu U. Disguising Grontina, and making myself appear like a boy, a Lightfoot tall boy with some cosmetic blood added for effect! War-Chic! Together we moved forward to break into enemy camp dressed as mercinaries. With a little help from Shen, Brit-Brit was able to lie to the squad of Kobolds that moved forward to try and challenge our entry. By the Gods Kobalds are sooooooo gullible!
       We thought we had it easy now, well relatively speaking. But only minutes passed as we walked into the human inhabited parts of the camp “Hail Tiamat!” Some guard yelled at us as we approached, and I called back with a surprisng amount of vigor! I really should have taken more Drama classes back in school. Ah well, starting in a lead stage role will have to wait. 
        Shen noticed that there seemed to be an area occupied with mostly Mercs and Guards than say cultists and darkly robed people. Making a quick call she lead us towards them where we could easily lose ourselves amongst the crowd. 
        As we approached the camp of tents one of the Mercs approached us. He gave Grontina a look of sudden suspicion, like they must have known each other from somewhere. Thinking our cover might have so suddenly been blown I ducked around the side of a tent I heard Brit-Brit begin flirting with the man to distract him. Turns out that the this guy was in the rotation of guards who watched the Prisoners! The girls took some time to decide how best to use this information, with Britanya having nearly lured the man to his tent, which one would have assumed would be for… well her specialty, but Grontina sent them back on track.
        Meanwhile I’d discovered that some guards were discussing the current state of a certain Half-Elf Monk. Mondath, had been torturing him. They also let drop that he was of some interest to Rezmir. Making my way up to them I inquired how bad it might have been, and they described with some terror int heir eyes that they’d be putting him up on the cross again tomorrow, and that they didn’t think he would survive much longer. Moving away from them, I hid between some tents and watched the Prisoner Tent for about a half hour when I saw a man with a bucket of water enter the it. When he exited he lamented to the guard at the door “Ugh another one died.” A chance for us! “I’ll be right back to get the body.” He walked by me never noticing me listening as he muttered “I hate feeding the drakes.” I ran back to find the girls.
        Together the girls were deciding on what to do with different strategies they could use to enter the tent. As I returned, and filled them in on  this information we leapt into action. Shen and I followed the original guard to try and hold him up… but it turns out that after a short walk to a lower set of dwellings he’d simply gone to get two other guards to help him carry the body. Uh oh.
        At the prisoner tent, Kynthia and Grontina lead by Brittanya easily convinced the guards that they were there to dispose of the body. Quickly making their way in, our ruse clearly paying off. They found Leosin beaten and near broken. “We’re Here to GET THE CORPSE!” Brit-Brit called out louder than she needed, causing the guards at the door to chuckle at her. Acting quickly they gave Leosin one of my healing potions to help bring him back from the torture, as the possiblitiy that he might be needed for combat still lingered. Now, according to the girls, he seemed almost disappointed that he’d have to leave so soon (recognizing our fine ladies from Miss Victorias), due to the fact that he was getting such “Good Information” from his torturers.  A simple reminder of the fact that he’d soon enough be dead if they didn’t free him swayed him towards reason (Men! I swear!)
        Now I’m not sure I understand everything that happened next. A decision was made to free the other prisoners as well (some of them reminding the girls they had families they wanted to get home to, and a clearly rational desire to get away from the slavery and torture). Which went a little rougher than the rides I’ve heard Kynthia say she likes so much. Removing the bonds from the prisoners, Brit-Brit poked her head out of the tent with a perfect smile “Oh, I can’t seem to it to unlock.” The guard rolled is eyes “Women!”. Luring Sir Guard Idiot the First into the tent, Grontina and Kynthia struck him, Brittanya also getting a solid hit in! But that’s when the now dead Guard began to fall towards the canvas wall of the tent.
        If Grontina hadn’t been so fast on her feet, it could have spelled the end for them right then and there. She caught his now dead body and placed him on the dirt floor very quietly. Again Brit-Brit poked her head out the tent flaps. “Oh, wouldn’t you know it, he seems to be unable to open it too!” Now Sir Guard Idiot the Second proved a little brighter than his dead friend. He called out to his now dead associate, calling for confirmation. Using her Manliest (and possibly quite natural) voice Grunty called out an affirmation that he needed help… and well the guy fell for it (Seriously Men, c’mon. For real real?). You can guess how easily this guy died too. However… thats when things went so far South that Ahm seemed to be the Far North.
        This Guards body fell directly into the center tent pole knocking it over and the tent began to deflate. Grontina lashed out cutting a hole in the back of the tent, after a wide eyed Brit-Brit called out “I need line of sight for a sleep spell!” With a well aimed flick of her wrist, and well said words of power her sleep spell was cast and one of the unseen Guards dropped. The other might have been ready to investigate the sudden hole in the tent, and their falling friend, but when the Tent BURST INTO FLAMES that probably went out of his mind and he began to flee.
        Shen had bought quite a lot of time with our own gamble. Still appearing as a boy, I’d walked up to the guard and his friends. “Hail Tiamat!” I called out to them as we approached. They didn’t seem quite so enthused about the call back given their current duty. It was easy to convince them that I was some sort of depraved halfling (like one of those crazy Tooks you’ve no doubt heard about) and that I wanted to show the “New Girl” Shen, they looked disgusted but happily handed off the task. Feeling pretty good about ourselves we came back towards the tent and from a distance noticed it start to deflate and then burst into flames. ‘Oh. Well. Okay.’ I thought. We started running forward as things really start to shift into chaos.
        Prisoners wer pouring out of the FLAMING tent. Kynthia tumbled out of the tent door, falling flat faced on the ground, and begin crawling away from the scene. A guard running from the tent likely to report to the appropriate higher ups. Grontina, carrying Leosin over her shoulders emerged from the back side of the Tent along with Brit-Brit. The latter two making their way towards our direction. Kynthia raised a hand at the fleeing guard “Approach!” her voice rang out across the distance crystal clear and empowered by her cleric magics. Sir Guard Idiot the Third turned and began walking towards her. Returning to her feet she began running towards Shen who waited for her.  Together again we all began fleeing towards the largest exit. 
        Now here’s another interesting factoid of the day that we all learned at the same time. Taking a quick break to plan our directions I grabbed up some clothes in our flight and began disgusing Leosin to make him less likely to be noticed in the fleeing, Brittanya saw a perfect peice that would finish off the ensemble, it went up in a gout of fire! Some how, some way, Brit-Brit had become even hotter than before and could light combustables on fire with a simple touch. It was the biggest break that we need right when we needed it!
        “Do be a dear and touch as many tents as you can please!” I smiled up at her as we began making ready to make for the main exit point. I really ought to be more… direct in my suggestions.
        “I AM BECOME DEATH DESTROYER OF WORLDS!” her shrill terror inducing scream lead our charge as she sprinted ahead touching anything she could get her hands on. Well why not add a little more dramatic flair? I cast a set of glowing orbs of light around us swirling and chasing us.
        “Tiamat preserve us! The Dragons have turned on us all is lost!” And it was all pretty much a matter of running with the crowd at that point, Prisoners, Guards, Kobolds all fleeing for their lives. 
        After fleeing the immediate vicinity of the camp we realized one of the Prisoners had made a wise choice and stuck with us. Larry, such a sweet guy! … If not a little jumpy, but given his previous few days it was to be expected. At any rate we decided to make with full haste back to Greenest. Shen revealing a new beautiful form of hers, that of a glorious Horse!!! Eeeeee!!!! With some convincing we were able to get Larry to mount her (hehehehehehehehe) and I rode with him (hehehehehehe). It was a long days journey back, but we made it!
        The Mayor (I think?) saw us upon our arrival back, and said he’d have a full meeting with us on the morrow, as the Army he’d requested would be some time in coming (figures!). 
        We talked with Leosin some after that, He provided us with some information about the cult and what he’s learned from them in his time among them, including the identity of the Half-Dragon that had fought Grontina in the battle of Greenest (and that there was ANOTHER one amongst them!) [DM please add appropriate names here, I did not note them unfortunately]
        It also appears that there may have been a hatchery of Dragon Eggs there! Both Brit-Brit and I agree that it would be SUPER cute to each have a Dragon! So CUUUTE!
        Anyway, the girls and I are off to get some rest. And… well I think given the world we find ourselves in the girls and I will find some new resolve and strength within ourselves. Tomorrow I’m going to Pledge to the College of Valor, and I think Grontina said she had a very important event coming up to that she’d like us to know about. But more on that later. 
        Good night sweet Journal!

Skin of Our Teeth
Wherein we make several terrible plans, then abandon them

Dearest Miss Victoria,

I could use your advice, as my thoughts are all in a jumble. We accomplished something good today, but I remain vexed.

Continuing our quest to help the people of Greenest, we followed the dragon army to their secluded mesa headquarters. There had been some harsh words and actions among our party after an excessively trying day, so we all got a good night’s sleep before setting out on a rescue operation.

Oh, you would be proud of us, I think! Shen very neatly scouted the enemy fortifications in her animal form, and together, the group of us devised a plan to infiltrate the enemy camp using the badges we’d liberated from some of those naughty bandits. We posed as bandits ourselves! We had to talk Shen out of disguising herself as a horse. That girl loves to shape-change! I suppose I can’t blame her. The other girls disguised me as a boy. Nobody saw through my disguise. I was a little disappointed.

And oh, my goodness! I can’t believe those silly bandits actually fell for our ruse! Sassay and Brittania are really very good at tricking stupid boys.

But we faced such danger! Enemies on every side! Somewhere nearby, there was a half-dragon champion who’d soundly thrashed me in combat just days before. I shiver to imagine facing him again. Sassay braved the masses of kobolds, mercenaries, and cultists to discover the location of Master Leosin. If only I could blend into a crowd so well.

Miss Victoria, Leosin had been enslaved and tortured! I’ve rarely been so angry in my whole life, not even at Brit-Brit after you-know-what! The girls put their heads together and came up with a plan to replace some of the guards on the slave tent.

Yes, you read that properly: a slave tent! The stupid dragon army had taken helpless people – people with homes and families! – captive! One of them had just died, and his corpse was to have been fed to drakes! We intercepted an order to remove the body, and replaced the guards who were going to do it.

Kynthia, Brit-Brit, and I bluffed our way into the tent, where we found Leosin! Oh, he was in a state! We gave him a healing potion and set about releasing him. It was clear to me, though, that our duty went further. The tent was filled with other slaves. We had to rescue them!

While the three of us tried to make a plan, Shen and Sassay were doing their best to keep us undiscovered. They apparently succeeded, as Brit-Brit was able to use her “charm” to trick a guard into an ambush inside the tent. And then another guard! This led me to believe that these dragon cultists can’t be too bright… although now that I’ve written that down, I suppose that’s a redundant concept, isn’t it?

What happened next, though… Brit-Brit cast a sleep spell as we were planning our escape, but something queer happened! The tent exploded into flame! Miss Victoria, is this normal for a sorcerer? I’ve been too shy to ask.

Suddenly, the group of us had no more time to plan, only to act. I did my best to slice a hole in the top of the tent, hoping it would fall away harmlessly. That… didn’t quite work as I’d intended. Brit-Brit managed to put a guard to sleep, but a second ran for reinforcements.

Kynthia saved us. She didn’t even blink, she just stepped calmly out of the burning tent and cast a spell, stopping the man in his tracks. You’d have been so proud!

What happened next is what vexes me. I picked up Leosin and fled the tent, but I didn’t manage to evacuate the other prisoners. They were managing to flee on their own, but they didn’t have any real direction. I feared drawing more attention to us, for we were in an enemy encampment, and we still needed to escape with Leosin before our enemies realized what we were about.

Brit-Brit cleverly started setting things on fire as we fled, hoping to create a distraction. I daresay it worked, although I don’t fully understand why she needed to shout, “I am become death, destroyer of worlds…!” as she did so. Is that also a sorcerer thing?

Sassay and Shen caught up with us, and we fled as a group. I don’t entirely know how we managed it, but I suppose that setting half the enemy camp on fire provided a moderately good distraction. Still, only a single escaped slave successfully followed us. I cannot help but wonder what happened to the other ones. Did they find freedom? Were they re-captured, so they still need our help?

I believe what we did was right. Each of us had to make difficult decisions under considerable pressure, and in this, we did our best. The other girls agreed with me about freeing the slaves, even BritBrit. We rescued Leosin to retrieve information that will later help a larger force take down the dragon army, and to make the boys happy.

Still, I’m unsatisfied that I couldn’t guarantee saving more. I must try harder, do better. I will do my very best to make you proud. It’s clear that we are facing a threat that could endanger all of Faerun.

I suppose my thoughts are more orderly, now. Nevertheless, I hope this letter finds you well. We miss the school, but we’re learning so much! I think I’ve almost worked out how Kynthia cast that spell.

Grontina Toots

P.S.: Please give Mr. Squiggles scritches for me.

Into the Opening

Dear diary,

When I imagined my life as an adventurer, I always pictured myself riding a dragon or a unicorn, smiting evil creatures with a wave of my perfectly manicured hand, and then flying back to my ivory tower on the hill. Never in all my classes in Miss Victoria’s did I hear anyone mention how… dirty and messy it all is. I’m not meaning to criticize Miss Victoria, but I just think someone should have mentioned it.

I mean, we had just gotten back from that filthy, kobold-infested little cult encampment and I had barely had time to make a stunning staff of light with that gem we got when Leosin told us we had to turn right back around and go BACK to kobold-land. Really, Leosin? Really? I was feeling just completely over it, but Grontina got excited about it. She somehow seems all… I don’t know, purposeful now, or something. Whatever has gotten into her, she’s actually taking care of her appearance more now, so whatever it is is fine by me.

So anyways, yes. Leosin wants us to go back to the awful camp and figure out what’s in the mysterious cave in the back, then bring that information to Elturel. OK, crazy dragon dude. FINE. So, we traipse off that way, and wouldn’t you know it we soon started smelling smoke, and when we got to the camp, it was all burnt out and mostly abandoned. We had had a whole devious stealth strategy and everything, but we didn’t even need it. Sassay just bopped in and befriended a medium cute hunter named Grant who told us they all just up and took off! The ones that didn’t go into the cave, anyway. Right. The cave.

We snuck our way into the cave (thanks to Sassay’s uncanny sneakiness) and almost immediately get attacked by Dragonklaws. I freeze one of their faces off! That was kind of neat. Shen got a little too excited by all the blood while she was in her kitty form, but she’s just so cute I can’t stay scared of her.

As per usual, Kynthia trips and triggers a trap, which sends us into this gross moldy area where these disgusting mushrooms tried to infest us or something. Super creepy. We hack them to bits, and then choose the left fork in the road,

Moving forward, something smells foul, so of course kitty Shen runs forward to investigate and gets completely swarmed by a bunch of giant mosquito thingies! You know how I hate bugs, diary! I swear my sleep incantation was like 2 octaves higher than normal, but thank GOD I did it right and those gross things all fell to the ground. I tried to make the others feel like they helped too, but I know it was me that saved dear Shen.

With all the noise, we attracted a group of nasty little kobolds, so I put them to sleep too. That spell is way too much fun. It comes in so handy when we sneak into Grontina’s tent to dip her hand in a bowl of water while she’s resting.

After that, Shen cleverly found a trap BEFORE we set it off (we’re learning!) and we headed into the next room that had a bunch of nasty drakes in this little pit area, and of course once again a bunch of kobolds run in and start harassing us. Until of course, I put them to sleep again. I was starting to feel like this was going to be a piece of cake. Little did I know.

We took a short rest (not because of my spells this time) and headed through what appeared to be the barracks into a creepy room with a big shrine to Tiamat and Langdedrosa Cyanwrath, that big half-dragon who so hilariously trounced Grontina back at Greenest! I was kind of hoping he would just smush Grunty and leave again, but instead he and his two ugly Barbarian friends tried to kill us!

Oh my gosh that was the scariest fight we’ve been in yet! Remembering my lessons, I realized that Cyanwrath, as a blue half-dragon would be immune to lightning. But of course his friends weren’t! I used a skill I’d never tried before, and doubled my Witch Bolt spell to zap both of them! The only problem was – I couldn’t do anything else! Diary, so much energy poured through my petite little frame I felt like I was going to collapse from exhaustion like the poor horse that has to carry Grontina! Meanwhile, Grontina herself drew all the attention and went down so many times (never thought I’d say that!), but always Kynthia managed to heal her back up, while Shen fell to the ground more times than the night she smuggled mead into the homecoming ball, and Sassay did… stuff. She was so sneaky I couldn’t tell what!

Finally, we were victorious, and we celebrated by setting off a trap and nearly poisoning ourselves to death in an acid cloud. (We’re still learning!) I put my foot down and said that I wouldn’t take one more step without a long rest, so we [DM Edit] carefully threaded our way back out of the caves and retreated to a safe distance from the encampment before bedding down. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to sleeping on the ground [/DM], but honestly I’m so tired now I’d even let Kynthia sleep next to me. Goodnight, dear diary.

Loot found:

  • 2 scimitars (off the Dragonklaws)
  • a bunch (how many?) of slings and daggers off the various kobolds
  • In the barracks: 38 gp, 152 sp, 704 cp, and 4 dragon amulets worth 50,60,70, and 10 (or 100 to the right buyer)
    In the trapped chest:
  • String of pearls – 300 gp
  • gold and sapphire ring – 900 gp
  • pouch with stones worth 100 gp
    On Cyanwrath and the barbarians:
  • splint mail
  • greatsword
  • spear
  • leather armor (2)
  • greataxe (2)

Something in there needs an identify, but I can’t remember what.

Creepy Frulam

Ch1_FrulamMondath.jpgOmg diary, I almost forgot to write what happened yesterday! There isn’t much time so I’ll be brief. We had to go back in that stupid cultist cave AGAIN, and the second we entered, Shen got a faceful of spears. They brought reinforcements.

Of course I put them to sleep but then creepy Frulam Mondath was there! And she woke them up! And we tried to kill her but she started doing this extra creepy thing where smoky dragons appeared all around her and anyone who tried to hit her got all woozy. We killed all her guards and stuff, and she got a way. Stupid creepy Frulam. So then we went into her room (which we had totally missed last time) and took all her stuff. Oh, and hey look, a stairway down!

Dragons, Ponies, and Cultists

Good morning dearest diary!

For some reason we’re still in the crazy hatchling cave. I awoke covered in the gorgeous sheets of Frulam Mondath, the woman might be evil as all get out, but girl does she know how to live in comfort! After a quick breakfast the girls and I set out on our mission again, at least that’s what I’d thought was going to happen. Brit-Brit had wanted to complete our search of the cave. Well, so we did that instead.

We discovered a terrible meat cave (THE SMELL diary, the smell…), and a cave where some Kobolds may have slept. I was getting close to suggesting we leave when Shen found some eggs! No, not the breakfast kind. But like me sized eggs! Leathery eggs, that must be dragon-y or drake-y. Kynthia had been ready to check them when a voice started laughing darkly, and hungrily. Hidden from the shadows, I sent my dancing lights as close to the girls in the pit they’d climbed into. The voice taunted Grontina, saying that Half-Orcs are quite delectable. Gross. I could hear the girls trying to convince the … Thing, of letting them learn what its contracts were. And letting the voice know of the fact that Purple dress had left. The thing looks like a stalagmite, has tons of writhing tentacles. Gross, gross, gross! Turns out the thing is called a Roper? With some quick words Shen convinces the thing to go off and eat some of the rotten meat from the previously aforementioned meat room.

DragonEggs_Black.jpgDragon Eggs! Grontina started smashing eggs left and right, but Kynthia and I convinced her to leave one that we could take back to town. However during our debate on the subject of keeping it, Kynthia dropped it. Well. Instead of getting a baby dragon, we spent the rest of the day burning the corpses from the mercenary camp. Woo. Hoo. 

The following day we returned to Greenest, me in my finest black garb. We were treated as returning heroes with provisions, free room for the night, and baths for some of us to wash the guilt of the day before off. Going downstairs for dinner, we are met by Governor Nighthill, advising us that Leosin had left arrangements for us to get horses! When Shen went down to the stables, I followed her and instantly fell in love with Amber! Chestnut brown, and with gorgeous eyes! I instantly began placing pink and purple bows in her now-braided hair! Shen told me she loved that and scritches behind her left ear! Happy!

On the next morning, fashionably dressed for riding we rode out of Greenist towards Elturel. Several days later, when setting up camp for the night the girls and I noticed a giant star on the horizon. Turns out its called Amonitor’s Blessing? I didn’t want to ask about it too much. But Kynthia knew it was something about a Sun god blessing thing? None of us really listened apparently. 


As we neared the city we contemplated our task to find Aunthar Froom. Riding through the city gates, Grontina immediately informed a guard about our search for him. Well, that surprisingly turned out to be lucky. They told us we could find him at The Pair of Black Antlers, a strangely named Tavern, and off we went. 

The Crawling Turtle Arms, the name of the Inn nearest the tavern was our first stop to stable for two nights. Then, we head over to the tavern. Sadly, thanks to Grontia, I now remember a good portion of the early evening. Ch4_OntharrFrume.jpgAfter a rousing musical number and several drinks we met Aunthar who is an impressive drinker and amusing fellow! He asked us to meet him again the next night for more drinks and a plan. 

After procuring some libations from my family’s brewery we met Aunthar Froom and Leosin. It turns out both of them are working for two orders set on finding out what the Tiamat Worshipers are up to and stopping them. Their current plan was to send some operatives (us) to Baldur’s Gate to inspect their shipments and see what we could learn. So we’re to head out by ship to B.G., which is apparently not a horse-friendly place. Turns out that will be helpful in infiltrating their caravan. Also, Shen, Brit-Brit, and I joined the Harpers – an order associated with Miss Victoria’s. Kynthia joined the Iron Fist or something of Aunthar Froom. 

Baldurs_Entry.jpgUpon arriving at the, like, poorer areas of B.G, I split off from the girls as I saw a man carrying a palanquin who seemed very familiar. Asking him if we’ve ever met before, he seemed as confused as I did. I caught a glimpse of the woman he was carrying, a dark-skinned woman whose skin seemed somehow oily and her gaze bothered me once it fell upon me. I doubled back to tell Shen about it, before heading off to investigate further. 

The girls meanwhile went off to talk with Akin Selivan to see if they could infiltrate the current shipment from the Tiamat cult. He pointed them at the northern districts where they might be able to find the caravan. 

My wanderings brought me to the Caravansary (is that actually a word, or did this town make it up?), and to the main office of their work house. Disguised as a sturdy looking Halfling man I inquired about how to get work in caravan guarding. According to the busy-looking man beyond the counter, people can show up in the morning to apply for work. So that’s clearly going to be our morning plan. 

Returning to meet up with the girls, we had some dinner at our Inn, and as I settled into a post-dinner drink out front, I saw the Palanquin from earlier! Pursuing it through city, it stopped at the Copper Flail, where some shady dealings apparently go down. Despite my investigation, I couldn’t find out what their dealings were. 

Kynthia provided the inspiration on where I knew the man from. She had seen some of the cultists from the camp, here in the city! Clearly my guy was also one of them. With that we’ve decided to settle into the city and take watch over the Caravansary. Once we see our opportunity we’re likely to take it!

Well diary, I’m going to get some rest. Sassay, away. 


On the Road Again

Dear Diary,

It felt like we’d been stuck in town forever trying to figure out what to do. I mean, I liked it in Baldur’s Gate. The shops actually have semi-decent stuff and there are one or two bars that are super fun, but the girls said we have to keep moving and following these dragon cult guys. Ugh, I guess.

So this morning, we headed to the caravansary to try to get ourselves hired as guards. The obviously sketchy people who are clearly the cultists were like, uh, no girls, so we hired on with other wagons. Kynthia and Grontina hired on with some elf lady who’s into chicks and carrying wood. I’m not into older elf women the way they obviously are, so I took a pass. There were a bunch of other carts, one of which was transporting this green girl who is apparently a victim of a wild magic accident. OMG what if that happened to meeeeeee? I’d kill myself, I’m pretty sure.

Shen and I hired on with a silk merchant who was kinda boring, but there’s also this super tall hot guy called, I kid you not, “The Pole”. Shen says it’s because he’s tall and wields a pole arm, but I’m not so sure. I think I may figure it out by the time this trip is over if you know what I mean, diary.

We traipse dalong for a couple of days. I’m in charge of the guards, which is awesome, because I totally get to tell everyone what to do. After a couple of days we came across a caravan being attacked by hobgoblins. We were like, “We totally got this”, but we kinda totally didn’t. They were tough! Shen and I got knocked out again. I blame Sassay. If she helped instead of getting drunk on the ale cart, we would’ve got them. But anyway we finally killed them and helped out the cute little hallooing family they were trying to kill, and they had 5 sets of chainmail, 5 shields, 5 swords, 5 longbows, and 5 gold.

The next day it rained which was cold and gross and Kynthia didn’t sleep at all. But fortunately nothing bad happened that day (except more damn rain). When we woke up, we were surrounded by mushrooms (gross) that screamed when we stepped on them (double gross). They were really irritating and disturbing. Kynthia tried to burn them but was wracked with grief at killing them. I don’t know why she was so emotional. I just kept killing them no matter how much they screamed.

The next night was super cold and miserable, but thank the gods we found an inn! Unfortunately, it’s full of a foppish judge and his aristocratic cronies who don’t really want to share. I can’t say I blame them. We’re wet and we smell bad. The merchants in our caravan are restless, but I think me and Shen can talk them into this. No wrinkly old judge can resist our feminine wiles.

Huge Group of Girls

Today was a weird day, diary.

It felt like we had been trudging through the mud and rain forever. I had cast prestidigitate so many times on my suede boots that I was entering into some kind of fugue state. Finally, we found an inn, but it was not particularly welcoming.

First off, the second we got there, a bird flew in with a message for Kynthia. Apparently, she had some kind of family emergency and needed to go home immediately. And so, she left. And just like that, our group of 5 girls was now 4. I mean, Kynthia and I weren’t exactly besties or anything, but still. It felt weird and unsettling.

So then when we entered the inn and this bitchy judge and his friends were like “None of you common folk can share our space with us,” I was just not having it. I tried plying them with my countless charms, but when they called Grontina our pet orc and started questioning our heritage, it was on.

As soon as my girls drew their weapons, the ‘judge’ and his pals threw off their robes to reveal that they were girls too! So 4 girls turned into 8! And then who should walk in the front door but the Ice Tsarina of Miss Victoria’s herself, Anastasia! Plus some other girl from school who looked vaguely familiar. [DM’s Note: Waknona, the ‘k’ is silent.) And then this weird girl who stood in the corner and didn’t do anything when people attacked her. Teresa, I think? Someone’s cousin, maybe. So now there were 11 girls! It was a nasty girl fight, but when the dust settled we were once again victorious. Our only casualty was Teresa, who disappeared somewhere.

In the fold of one of those nasty girls’ robe, we found a picture of some guy with tattoos all over his face and some kind of stamp for a secret society or something. Not sure what that was all about. My eyes were on the 10 perfect amethysts we found. So pretty! We also went through their room and found a bunch of disguise kits and a nice staff. I already have my pretty glowy one, so I let Shen have it.

We get a well-deserved night’s rest and then head off with the Caravan again. Sassay and her new bestie (what is her name?) went sneaking off to eavesdrop, and quickly learned that there was a plot to assassinate me. Me! What did I ever do? In fear of my life, I let the other girls talk me into dying my hair this ugly shade of black. It just looks… wrong. But apparently it fooled whatever awful thug was trying to kill me, because I’m still here. To be safe, I left the cart I was guarding and started hanging out with that green girl, Esma. She totally isn’t the kind of girl I would’ve hung out with in school, but she’s pretty cool, actually, and she definitely makes me feel better about my ugly hair and the fact that Shen is hanging out with Anastasia instead of me. I’m going to try to help her get fixed so she’s not green anymore.

Some of the other girls went and bought birds, and there was this whole drama about the silk cart being full of worms, but frankly, diary, I can’t muster up the energy to write all about it. But I guess we’ve got a pet parrot named Latisha and a Raven named Ebony now. Hooray.

We got to Dragonspear and decided we wanted to try to have a look at what those Dragon cultists were carrying. Their stuff was in a heavily guarded warehouse, but Shen had the idea of transforming into some kind of teeny creature and checking it out. She turned into a cat, and slipped into the barn. [DM’s Note: Shen absolutely, positively did NOT tell the rest of the girls about being a spider.] Shen was acting really strange when she got back to us, talking a little crazy, but we did manage to get out of her that it seemed like the cultists were carrying a huge amount of treasure. I’m not really sure how that helps us, but there you go.


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